Sex and intimacy

Man and woman embracing with happy smiles

What about my partner?

How do partners experience sex and intimacy after prostate cancer treatment?

Following surgical removal of the prostate gland, men and their partners experience a “new normal”.  Firstly, they need to deal with urinary incontinence, which can last from a short period of time to a considerably longer period of time (how long is a piece of string?).  Anyone want to see a photo of me in my big undies? (JOKE)

The next major journey of mutual discovery involves sex.  Intimacy and sex change after a man undergoes a prostatectomy.  Gone are the days of reliable erections on-demand!  Also gone is the semen – from now on, any orgasms will be a dry affair.

So far, so straightforward.  I have already discussed in several past posts (and in my book) how prostate cancer treatment can affect a man, on all levels.  It is not so common, however, to hear from a partner about their experience of a relationship post-treatment.

Last night, Victoria Cullen ran a live webinar featuring my own wife, Fiona.  In that webinar, which lasted for only 30 minutes, Victoria gave Fiona the opportunity to talk about the challenges she faced since 2011 when we “lost my prostate, mate”.

Man and woman embracing with happy smiles
Image courtesy of Justin Leijon

Life before prostate cancer treatment

As some of you may know, I married Fiona in 2008.  When my final prostate cancer diagnosis was made in January 2011, we were approaching our third wedding anniversary.  We had a happy and healthy sex life, which both of us enjoyed a great deal.  Now and again, my penis had its wobbles – as men get older, it is common for them to experience difficulty getting an erection and keeping it.  Overall, things were quite rosy.

Along came prostate cancer – and then …

Life changed dramatically – for both of us.  Rather than repeat Fiona’s story, you may wish to view the webinar on YouTube.  Just be aware that the contents are for adults only.

All I will say here is that menopause added another layer of difficulty to our sex life.  Don’t be dejected though, because there is definitely a future for sex and intimacy, in spite of all life’s little challenges.

Courtesy of Victoria Cullen and A Touchy Subject

Webinar: Adjusting to the new normal

Free Webinar

This coming Wednesday (3rd of April), I will be the guest on a live webinar broadcast by Victoria Cullen, Sexual Function Specialist.

Victoria Cullen talking about life after prostate cancer surgery
Victoria Cullen, Sexual Function Specialist

The webinar will start at 7:00pm (AEDT) and you can register to watch (or participate) via the link below.

Button to register for free webinar on life after prostate cancer surgery

Victoria and I will be discussing life after prostate cancer surgery, ranging across issues such as:-

  • the physical, emotional and psychological impacts of surgery;
  • how prostate cancer surgery can affect relationships;
  • sex and intimacy after prostate cancer surgery;
  • incontinence and erectile dysfunction.

The webinar is free and we would love you to join us with your questions and comments.  You can, of course, just sit back and watch without joining in – it’s all up to you.

If you’d like to check out our promo video on YouTube, click on the link below.

Check out the promo video on YouTube

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